A mother who is the victim of perjury by social workers and a lying unqualified “expert” who has written a number of reports filled with false unsubstantiated allegations for the secret hidden family law court, spoke to Alliance of Birth Mothers Campaigning for Justice this week about her struggle to overcome the feeling of wanting to take her life when the pain of the loss of her beloved children becomes too unbearable.
This is what she said:
“I suppose the feeling of ending it all comes across you sometimes, because not only are you bereft with grief, at the loss of your children, you’re not allowed to see them, you’re not allowed to talk to them, you’re not allowed to send them a present.
And you do have that feeling of what’s the point, and you do have those kind of, I suppose, you know, feelings that if……if you didn’t exist, then at least the pain wouldn’t exist either.
Because I’m sure that an awful lot of mothers, in situations like this, have those feelings where they can’t go on.
I think night is the worst time when you’re on your own at night, and your children should be asleep in their bed, And they’re not asleep in their own bed.
You know that they are somewhere where they are unhappy and where they don’t want to be. And I do find those……those times are very hard.
It’s like your children are dead. But you don’t have a grave to visit.
And that is really, really hard.
And there have been times where I’ve been so close to just even contemplating suicide, that you have to shake it off, because if I did that, then they’d win.
And I won’t let them win.
But it doesn’t mean the past doesn’t come to mind.
So it does come to mind.
But you have to try and just get through that moment and talk to somebody. That helps because it gets you past that moment.
It doesn’t take away the feeling, none of it takes away the feeling or the desire for it to be over which is I suppose it’s……it’s one of the things I struggle the hardest with is this desire for this just to be over. “